Be Miserable Or…
Inspiration of the Day
Or motivate yourself.
Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
Internationally renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development.
He’s the author of over 30 books including the New York Times bestseller 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace.
So Now What?
This is a hard concept to digest. If you buy into the notion that it is always your choice then it’s rather defeating to wallow in blame, guilt, resentment, anger and complaining.
How could these emotions even remotely be essential to living a wonderful life? I won’t call them bad or negative emotions but I will call them unhelpful.
Not only are they counterproductive for your life but they hurt. Hurt emotionally yes but these emotions also damage your progress toward the life of your dreams.
If being miserable is your choice then why would you ever willingly feel that way for long periods of time? The answer can be found in two places.
Feeling miserable may help you prove to yourself that you truly are unworthy. If you were really worthy of love and happiness you wouldn’t feel miserable would you?
Though you may feel sad and despairing, these emotions bring you comfort. If you believe that you don’t deserve happiness then feeling miserable would logically have to be the way you should feel.
Your brain and body are in alignment with these emotions and there is a certain sense of relaxed appropriateness to the way you feel.
Secondly, you may also have trained yourself to feel miserable. Just like learning to drive a car or learning to walk has become an automatic habit for you so can you make automatic habits of your emotions.
It’s very simple to do. Just like learning to walk or play the piano, you just have to practice over and over and over again.
Practice feeling miserable, angry, guilty and resentful and it will become easier and easier to feel those emotions until they get processed by your subconscious mind and they become automatic.
So if you feel miserable on a regular basis how do you turn it around?
You use the same method to create happiness as you did to create misery. You practice, practice, practice.
Here’s your work: you will need to find things and/or people that make you happy, that bring you feelings of love. And with these people and things you will create a “treasure chest of awesomeness.”
You will then spend time everyday doing something from your treasure chest, something that makes you happy.
It can be anything that puts a smile on your face: reading a book, listening to music, watching a funny show on TV, hanging out with friends, making a craft, taking photos, playing an instrument, taking a walk in the sunshine, going to a dance class.
This is “me” time and you must find time everyday to feel happiness and love, even if it’s only 10 minutes.
This is the only way to turn the emotions of happiness and love into automatic habits. And by creating new emotional habits the old unhelpful emotional habits will fade away.
You also need to engage your “watcher.” This is the part of you that will review your emotions as often as possible during the day. This mental watching is the guardian of your feelings.
If your watcher notices you slipping into misery, anger and resentment then you will need to engage your treasure chest of awesomeness to prevent yourself from slipping further down into these unhelpful emotions.
If your watcher notices you feeling happy then crank it up. The more happiness and love you feel the easier, faster and stronger those emotions will become.
This does take time and effort. Would it be possible to take 10 minutes 3 times a day just for “me” time?
Listen to your favorite up-lifting music, or a quick conversation with a non-miserable friend (someone who lifts you up), a short walk in the sunshine. Can you set the alarm on your phone or computer to remind you?
Look, you don’t have to do the long jump toward your goal. I guarantee you this, if you take lots of mini-steps forward and never give up you will get you to where you want to be.